The Empty Boat

Frustration can show up quickly, even before you’ve had time to think.

A message lands badly. A decision doesn’t go the way you expected. Someone drops the ball…again. And almost instantly, a story forms.

There’s an old parable that captures this perfectly.

A man is rowing across a foggy lake when another boat crashes into him. He’s furious. Shouting. Angry at the carelessness of the other person. Then he realises something. The other boat is empty. Nothing about the collision changes. But the anger vanishes the moment the assumed intent is revealed to be false.

I often think about this when talking to owner-founders under pressure. So much of the emotional weight they carry isn’t created by what happens, but by what they assume about why it happened.

“They should know better.” “This always comes back to me.” “If I don’t stay on top of everything, it all falls apart.”

That may be the case. Or, the other boat is empty.

That doesn’t mean standards drop. It doesn’t mean accountability disappears.

It simply means we stop adding unnecessary emotional noise to an already demanding role.

A simple pause can change everything:

• What actually happened…without the story?
• What am I assuming about intent?
• What else could be true here?

In my experience, leadership strength often shows up not in reaction, but in restraint. In clarity, not heat, in choosing better questions when pressure is high.

So next time frustration rises, ask yourself:

What if the other boat is empty?

If this sparked a moment of reflection, take a minute today to notice where your assumptions might be doing more damage than the situation itself, and see what changes when you let go of the story.

Have a brilliant week!

Dave Rogers – The Business Explorer

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